When HR Seems Friendly – But It’s a Power Play in Disguise

13/06/2025

We were supporting an employee recently in a case involving a return to work after an injury. His employer had provided a verbal assurance of support and a "collaborative" approach. The HR manager — let's call her Karen — was calm, polite, and didn't use any legal language.

The employee said to us after the call:

"I don't think she really knows what she's doing."

That, we explained, is the trap.

⚠️ The Underestimation Trap

This is one of the most dangerous misreads in workplace disputes:

Assuming the HR professional isn't strategic because they sound informal, friendly, or unsure.

Karen wasn't confused. She was setting the stage:

  • Calmly restating duties that may later justify dismissal;
  • Framing flexibility as generosity, not legal compliance;
  • Posing loaded questions like "are you suggesting reduced hours?" to bait concessions;
  • And casually downplaying legal processes like occupational health — all to limit formal obligations.

🎯 This is soft power — and it's incredibly effective.

There was no policy quoted. No legal terms. Just "reasonable" language.
But it was all designed to build a paper trail:

✅ The employer is trying to help
✅ The employee is emotional or unreasonable
✅ Any resistance is aggression
✅ And any refusal to concede is "lack of cooperation"

It's a sleight of hand:
Behind every calm question is a formal position being tested — while avoiding the trigger of a formal dispute process.

💡 What Employees and Reps Must Understand

When you respond emotionally or quote legislation too early, it gives the illusion of imbalance:

  • HR appears calm, pragmatic, fair.
  • The employee looks defensive, hostile, or "unwilling to engage."

That's the play.

And if it goes to the WRC or a tribunal, the employer walks in saying:

"We tried to be supportive. They were the ones who escalated it."

🛡️ How We Handle It at WorkplaceDisputes.ie

We don't take the bait.
We don't underestimate the HR professional — we respect their skill and strategy.
And we match calm with calm, while ensuring the legal groundwork is quietly and firmly in place.

Disputes are not won by volume.
They're won by seeing the board clearly and knowing when to let the silence do the talking.

⚖️ Respect soft power. Recognise the underestimation trap. And play the long game with clarity and composure.

📨 If you're facing this kind of subtle pressure at work — especially around injury, disability, performance, or procedural fairness — you don't have to navigate it alone. 

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